One of those moments…

Have you ever fantasized about your ideal life? I have. Probably too much lately. I am off from school for a month. A whole month and I am wishing I was back in school. What’s up with that? Have you ever thought that life is good, but it could be great? I thought that with all this time on my hands I might take a few trips to see family and friends. I would actually be enjoying my time off. However, I am stuck in a self pity party and missing dear friends and not really enjoying this time off.

I think back on the times when I was in youth group with all my friends. Every break – winter, spring, and summer – we would be on a great youth group trip or staying up late watching movies. That was before everyone stepped into the next chapter of their lives. All my dear friends are in a different city – some states – or countries! It makes you think you have taken all these friendships for granted. Now that I can’t call them to get a cup of coffee – it makes me a little sad. Things change. People change. You never think your friendship would change, but truth be told IT DOES.

I’m living in the same area I have since I was one year old. Back in school after many failed attempts (both mentally and academically!). I am doing very well in school (shocker!), but it still makes me day dream about the good ole days or fantasize about my future. I know what I want, but the most important thing to remember is that it is God who holds my future. Lately, that has been difficult to grasp. Wondering… God are you here? Do you remember me? Did you forget? Selfish?… I know! Jealous?… probably! Impatient?… for sure!

‘Quiet my heart and mind dear Lord. For you have great things in store. In your time.’

I am so happy and proud of all of my friends. I think so highly of them and want nothing but the best for each and every one. I know I am extremely shy and hesitant when I meet people. I hate introducing myself and making new friends, but in life you must do so. Always cherish those you have, but make more along the way. It is a tough thing for me to do, but my close dear friends must move on to big and better things… but I can too. Even if I don’t believe it sometimes.

Fantasy isn’t reality. But reality is truth. And the truth you must accept into your life.